he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
