So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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