Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
