I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
