Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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