all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
