i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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