so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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