I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
