i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
