im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
