Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
