cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
