my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
soo... how was my night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
