So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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