Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
