I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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