dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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