I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Every concussion has its silver lining
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
