No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
