i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
