Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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