Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Still dying that you shit outside
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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