we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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