that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize