Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
