Duck Duck Cougar?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
