It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
