He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
