How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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