We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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