I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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