New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
