We're facebook friends in real life
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Randomize
