And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
