what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
