i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
