nut hugger
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
