I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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