i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
These tits shall not be calmed
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
