help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Cover your peen. We're going out.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
