xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
third nipple confirmed
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
