In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
