She said her name was "party"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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