what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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