At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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