We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
