Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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