Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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