Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
